Husbands on love beyond gender and race

Of the many labels people place on Gian Tendencia and John Inserra, the two choose to only focus on the role most important to them - being good husbands.

Gian and Johm

Love has no limits, knows no gender nor race. Source: Gian Romulo Gonzalesten

* This story is part of our series on migration conversations.

For every migration story, there is someone who leaves and someone who gets left behind. For every migration story, there is a feeling of loss, of love, and of hope.

Our stories are different, but the same. What's yours? #Let'sTalk

 

It took Gian 48 years to find the love of his life. He didn't think that a lifelong partnership was even in the cards for him - that is, until five years ago when his Melbourne-based best friend introduced him to John, the man who was to be his husband.

Gian was working as a fashion visual merchandiser for H&M Dubai then, while John was running a popular restaurant and cafe in the Mornington Peninsula.

After months of communicating through Viber, the two decided to meet in Dubai in 2014. 

"I just knew in my heart and my soul that you were for me," John shares, "[I loved] the transparency, the honesty, the trust, the genuity in our conversations up until the day we met on the 22nd of September 2014. I met you at the airport [and] I was complete."

While the two shared an enviable connection, being an interracial gay couple brought with it a multitude of challenges - from the difficulties of a long distance relationship, to people questioning their motives, to negative comments about their sexuality.

However, the two overcame and continue to prevail over these challenges, with Gian saying to John, "You love me for who I am. My skin colour doesn’t matter to you. I just felt it straight away - that you were a good person, that you were the one I’ve been looking for my whole life."

Gian's search for 'the one' ended and, with same-sex marriage being made legal in Australia in 2017, they were able to make their union official.
Gian and John
The couple's families have wholeheartedly accepted and celebrated their union. Source: Gian Romulo Gonzalesten
The couple and their families excitedly welcomed the news, with Gian sharing, "In the country I grew up in, [being gay] is acceptable; but marriage equality [is not]. I was screaming [when I heard the news] and then I hugged [my mum] Mama Virgie. The entire family was screaming because they knew from the very start, we just wanted to be one. We just wanted to be happy." 

John describes their wedding day as the most exciting day of their lives, with each of them crying in disbelief that they could now walk down the aisle together as "equal husband and husband".

"For me, [all I want is] for us to live our lives together side by side and, that our families are part of our beautiful journey together. Maybe one day, having children," John muses, "I’m 56. You’re 52. It’s something we’ve talked about for a very long time."

And while talks of having children and nearly everything in their relationship took a very long time, they acknowledge that life is too short to let other people affect how they live.

"Being a gay couple, I think we have a lot of obstacles and people have different definitions of who we are; but for me, it’s as simple as I’m your husband," Gian shares with John, "I believe everyone deserves true happiness regardless of sexuality. I just want to be with you for the rest of my life."
Gian and John
"Being a gay couple, we have a lot of obstacles and people have different definitions of who we are; but for me, it’s as simple as I’m your husband." Source: Gian Romulo Gonzalesten
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4 min read
Published 27 February 2019 12:09pm
Updated 28 May 2019 1:34pm
By Nikki Alfonso-Gregorio


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