Raising biracial children shouldn't be about race

Versie Tamblyn is Filipino. Her husband Warren is Australian. Their kids are biracial. They would rather do away with those labels.

Tamblyn family

[L-R] Warren and Versie Tamblyn, and their children, Jacquelyn, Bronwyn and Trewyn. Source: Versie Tamblyn

Versie Tamblyn, her husband Warren and children, Trewyn, Bronwyn and Jacqueline, have lived in Thailand, Indonesia and Australia due to Warren's work as a geotechnical engineer. And while the Tamblyn family took on this adventure with open hearts and minds, they also faced prejudices and challenges along the way.

Ms Tamblyn recalls that times were different 40 years ago when they first settled in Australia. Her son and daughters were easily accepted in the Asian countries they lived in; however, acceptance was not as easy to come by when they first arrived in Australia. While she now celebrates the fact that she is the brown-skinned, dark-haired lady that stands out amongst her light-skinned, blonde-haired friends, she was not initially seen as a real Australian. Also, amongst her children, Trewyn in particular had to contend with being seen as ‘the other’ when he was younger.

She remembers the days when Trewyn was studying in a boarding school in Sydney.  He was constantly bullied by a particular boy because his mother was ‘a dirty parent’ who should ’go back to where she [came] from’.
“He suffered almost daily. The teachers did not do anything about it, hoping it would just go away."
Ms Tamblyn told her son to always opt for peace, and to ask for help if the bullying got too much. However, heeding to this advice proved to be difficult, and her son ended up punching the other boy after he started mouthing off again against his mum. Although violence tends to beget violence, Ms Tamblyn shares that her son’s physical retaliation immediately put a stop to the bullying.

“Everyone, including the staff, congratulated him for what he did,” Ms Tamblyn notes, citing how her son defended her.

The children now consider themselves to be Australians, but Ms Tamblyn has instilled in them the Filipino practice of bayanihan or helping others in need. And while they do not speak Tagalog, all three children have embraced the concept of kuya, with Trewyn taking on the responsibilities of the eldest child and the other two respecting and valuing his position in the family.

However, more than her children being born of a Filipino mother and an Australian father, Ms Tamblyn shares that she raised them to be citizens of the world who go beyond the physical attributes and social constructs of race. She shares that she and her husband did away with emphasising that she is Filipina, that he is Australian and that they have biracial children. Instead, she shares that they focus on the importance of character, respect, and self-assuredness. And for the Tamblyn brood, these go beyond what they look like or where their parents are from. 

While race is an inescapable issue when it comes to raising biracial children, Ms Tamblyn shares that “At the end of the day, what is our goal as parents? Our goal as parents is to raise a very happy, peaceful, and self-respecting child.”

Happy. Peaceful. Self-respecting. For the Tamblyns, those labels are much more important.

 

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3 min read
Published 6 August 2018 8:16am
Updated 27 August 2018 3:24pm
By Nikki Alfonso-Gregorio


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