Dickens famously began his classic novel, A Tale of Two Cities with the quote, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”.
Dickens famously began his classic novel, A Tale of Two Cities with the quote, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”.
Any article written about could just as easily include the caveat, “It is the easiest of things, it is the hardest of things”.
Enjoying happiness is something we should all strive for, as long as we define it appropriately and have realistic expectations. That’s because, the research clearly shows that authentic happiness is correlated with better health and wellbeing, positive relationships, success in almost every life domain and even longevity.
At the same time, however, enjoying and even undermined by the practice of unhelpful and self-defeating behaviours. Many of us, quite simply, go about it all wrong.
Below are a number of evidence-based, and relatively simple happiness habits you can learn and practice and ultimately aim to master for a more enjoyable and better-quality life.
- To begin with, as hinted at already, it’s important to have realistic expectations. No one is, or should ever expect to be, happy all the time. Unhappiness is perfectly appropriate at times. It’s normal to feel the full range of human emotions, from anxiety, frustration, sadness, and anger through to excitement, contentment, pride, and satisfaction (to name just a few). One of the first things we need to do to enjoy happiness, therefore, is to accept unhappiness. It’s OK not to be OK all the time.
- Following this, it’s worth remembering that we’re all different. Accordingly, our definitions of happiness will all be different. Before reading on, therefore, take a few minutes to reflect upon YOUR definition; what does happiness mean to you?
- One of the most powerful contributors to happiness is setting and working towards clear and meaningful goals. This provides a sense of accomplishment that’s vital to living a good life. So, set yourself some short, medium, and long-term goals towards which you can work on, beginning as soon as possible.
- Don’t forget that although happiness is often thought of in psychological or emotional terms, it’s also very much connected to our physical health and wellbeing. So, make sure you prioritise habits of healthy living like regular exercise, a good diet and adequate sleep and rest. Exercise, for example, is a potent stress buster and even a mood enhancer.
- Foster hope and optimism. I’m not talking about “positive thinking” here. Rather, I’m talking about realistically facing up to the cold hard realities of life, and then focusing on solutions. But also recognising and appreciating all that’s good, and all that will be good, in your world.
- And in case you need reminding, we humans are “social animals”. So, happiness is definitely not the same as selfishness. It’s also not a solo sport but much more so, a team effort. As such, it’s also helpful to prioritise those key relationships in your life; your family and friends and even your colleagues. There’s no doubt that happy people have both more, and better-quality, relationships so reach out and connect with others as best and as often as you can.
- Go about all this from a position of strength. That is, don’t spend all your time trying to fix your weaknesses but rather, build on what you’re best at. We all have faults and failings but we also all have positive attributes which if used, will make it easier and more enjoyable to achieve whatever it is we want to achieve.
And that should pretty much do it. Enjoying happiness isn’t overly difficult; we just need to practice these strategies consistently. And one more thing, be kind to yourself along the way. There will indubitably be ups and downs so during those difficult times, give yourself the love and compassion you’d most likely give to others.
