Over the past few weeks - like many Australians I suspect - I’ve struggled to explain exactly why I feel so personally insulted and degraded by the government’s postal survey.
It’s a democratic process, after all, and one which we should . Marriage equality could become law before the end of the year.
Isn’t that something we should all embrace?
Well, only reluctantly at best.
To view the vote purely as a is to misunderstand the whole point of marriage equality.
Here’s the truth I’ve realised these past few days: Marriage equality was never entirely about marriage, it was about equality – marriage was just a means to achieving that end.
Having the chance to marry who we love is sign of basic respect.
It’s about our country treating us with dignity, and recognising our relationships as no different to anybody else’s.
It’s about recognising our partners as legitimate – about recognising us as legitimate.
And that’s exactly why this postal vote is such a debasing, personal insult to so many Australians.
Such an unprecedented, archaic, undignified process for achieving human rights only serves to reinforce to LGBT+ Australians that they are not equal.
It says that our existence is so divisive, so contentious, so distasteful to legislate for, that it calls for a special ballot so that the majority can decide exactly how much dignity we should be afforded.
It says that rather than having inherent, private, personal dignity, our relationships are up for public debate.
To top it off, we are being asked to enthusiastically embrace this process – the opportunity to have our relationships ‘validated’ by our neighbours.
It might lead to victory, but it will be a victory stained by process.
Not only that, but it’s a process that has wedged and divided our community itself – a result the plan’s architects may well have intended.
After having our , , and our , this is yet another indignity.
It’s humiliating. It’s cruel. It’s gross.
I can completely understand why some people would want nothing to do with it.
So how does one justify taking part?
For me, it’s simple: I want this horror show to end.
I never want to have to explain to someone I should have the right to marry ever again.
I never want a gay kid to doubt whether they’ll ever have a happy relationship when they grow up.
I never want my own kids to have to live in a country where their parents are treated as illegitimate.
And as a sweetener, I want to see politicians’ faces when their own electorates rebuke them – I want to hear them explain their no votes after that.
I’ll feel disgusted doing it, but I’ll vote yes.
When we win, I’ll feel relieved.
But I won’t see it as a victory of equality. As this postal vote is demonstrating loud and clear, we still have a very long road ahead.
Feeling crap about all this?
QLife is available to chat between 3pm and midnight on 1800 184 527, or start an here.
