Remember as a teenager, secretly dreading family movie nights? It wasn’t just having to hang with your folks when you’d rather be out with your mates, it was the risk you’d be wedged on the couch between your mum and dad when out of nowhere, mid-way through something that seemed family-friendly, a sex-scene would appear. Not knowing where to look, you’d bury your face in a slice of pizza and wish for it to be over.
Well, imagine if what you were actually watching wasn’t just an M-rated movie, but a porno. And what if the porno was one that your parents had actually… made!
For a few young people, this is the reality in Mums Make Porn, the new documentary series now airing on SBS VICELAND and . In it, five everyday British mums, fed-up with easy-to-access, hardcore pornography, decide to make a “positive” porn film of their own. With help from industry professionals, they write, cast, direct and edit their own movie, and then screen it in front of their friends and family – including their kids – upon completion.
As weird as it might be for their kids, these mums feel they have to do this because they’re in uncharted territory. Their teens are the first generation to grow up with the internet in their back pocket. With the internet comes easy access to pornography: on your phone, on your computer, on social media.
Some things are pretty hard to watch… Source: SBS
In the UK nearly one third of internet traffic is hardcore porn. It’s illegal to show porn to under 18s, but it’s not illegal for them to actually find and watch it themselves. And more and more, teens are using it to form their ideas about sex. A survey found that half of boys and a third of girls in the UK believe that porn is a realistic depiction of sex, which is terrifying considering another study, cited in the documentary, states that 90% of the most watched porn scenes depict behaviour towards women which is violent or derogatory.
These mums are determined that their sons and daughters aren’t going to grow up thinking things like gang bangs, double penetration, casual violence or simulated rape are normal, or okay. Nor do they want them to think that sex is something to be scared or ashamed of. With fifteen kids between them, ranging from the age of 6 up to 25, they aren’t naïve to the fact that their kids will, and in some cases already do, have sex lives: they just want them to be safe and respectful.
But the mums are a bit naïve when it comes to pornography and how extreme and mainstream it now is. Some think it is disgusting and have never even considered watching it, others watch it frequently and think if done right, it can be a healthy and instructive form of sexual expression. And they all have their different reasons for wanting to make the porn film.
There’s Emma, mother of two girls, from West London. She’s open-minded enough to know porn isn’t going anywhere but thinks “it would be nice to be involved in something I’d be happy for my kids to see!”
The mums watch porn for the first time. Source: SBS
Sarah, a single mum from Northern England also has two girls. Her impression of porn is that it always seems to be men dominating women. She’d like to see things a little more equal.
Jane and Anita are both from London, but their views are poles apart. Jane has one 19-year-old daughter and thinks that porn is damning of and dangerous to women. Anita, on the other hand, watches “a lot of porn”. She says she enjoys it. But she also has four boys, and she wishes that porn taught young men more about showing women respect. “We can’t bury our heads in the sand and think that our kids haven’t watched porn by the age of 13,” she says, “but we should educate our kids that it is fantasy.”
Finally, there’s Sarah Louise from Manchester. She’s a mum of six and thinks she has a pretty open relationship with her kids when it comes to talking about sex and sexuality, but that porn isn’t being discussed enough, at school or at home. She thinks making a positive porn film will be a good way to influence the next generation.
But from the moment these mums meet, it’s clear that making a porn film isn’t going to be easy. For many, the first hurdle is actually accepting just how graphic most pornography is, as they sit down to watch for the very first time. “Oh my actual god!” one exclaims, “That is actual abuse of women!” Sarah Louise agrees, “If my son ever treated a girl like that, I would kick his arse to kingdom come!”
Their mission, therefore, is to try and counter the content they’ve seen online with something more… mumsy! They want to make a film which is erotic but respectful and consensual, with diverse faces and bodies, and most importantly, shows sex that is safe and fun, for everyone involved.
Sarah Louise pulls no punches. Source: SBS
As research, they visit working porn sets and speak with adult performers and directors for advice and guidance on everything from the best angles to shoot from and how to, erm, fake a cumshot. (Gaviscon, apparently, if you were wondering!)
They also meet and are mentored by famed erotic film director and producer Erika Lust, a champion of feminist pornography. The doco also talks to teens themselves about how much they watch porn (spoiler: a lot), what it has taught them about sex and the pressures and expectations they now face in the bedroom. 
For the mums and for the audience it’s a surprisingly warm, eye-opening journey. On the one hand it does shock you, just how destructive and male-dominated the porn world still is. But on the other, the documentary shows the good sides: the women working in the industry who love what they do and the creatives who are out to show sex as a positive, rewarding experience.
The kids get a chance to have their say. Source: SBS
By getting the mums to talk and face some of their own deep-seated sexual prejudices and insecurities, they can reimagine their own sex lives, and in doing so, better connect with their kids about building healthy, respectful relationships. 
With almost 5 million videos uploaded to one porn website in 2018 alone, the mums’ film might seem like a drop in the ocean. But remember, every drop creates a ripple. For these mums, their film marks an opportunity to start a conversation about the things that matter to them, and to many of us – body image, diversity, respect for women, consent. And about sex: what it is, and what it can be.
The mums in the director’s chair. Source: SBS
Three-part documentary series Mums Make Porn airs at 9:30pm on Tuesday nights on SBS VICELAND. The full series is available now at .
